nfidelity can be a devastating blow to any relationship, often leading to long-lasting emotional pain. Identifying the type of cheater you are dealing with can play a crucial role in your healing process. In his work, Dr. Doug Weiss has identified six distinct types of cheaters, each with unique characteristics and motivations. Understanding these types can provide clarity, aid in personal healing, and help in making informed decisions about the future of a relationship. Here’s a look at the six types of cheaters according to Dr. Weiss:
1. The Hunter
The Hunter actively seeks extramarital relationships. This type of cheater looks for opportunities to be unfaithful and often engages in one-night stands or short-lived affairs. They may use dating apps, social events, or their workplace as hunting grounds. Their motivation is typically more about the thrill of the chase and less about a connection with the person they are cheating with.
2. The Vulnerable
Vulnerable cheaters don’t typically seek out affairs but fall into them during moments of weakness, often resulting from personal issues or dissatisfaction within their primary relationship. This type might begin an affair after a significant argument, during a crisis, or when they feel neglected or unappreciated by their partner.
3. The Entitled
Entitled cheaters believe they have the right to engage in extramarital relationships. They may justify their actions by believing they deserve more sex, attention, or love than they receive in their current relationship. This sense of entitlement can stem from narcissistic traits or a skewed perception of their importance or needs.
4. The Accidental
Accidental cheaters do not plan to be unfaithful but find themselves in a situation where an affair happens—often after drinking or in situations where they feel they can’t control the outcome. Despite the “accident,” the impact on the relationship is no less severe, and dealing with the aftermath requires serious reflection and often professional counseling.
5. The Split Self
This type of cheater lives a double life. On one hand, they may genuinely care about their spouse and family, and on the other, they maintain a separate, secret relationship. The split self cheater is often very skilled at rationalizing their behavior, which allows them to manage the cognitive dissonance that comes from living these two lives.
6. The Exit Strategy
For some, cheating is a way to exit a relationship. Instead of ending the relationship directly, they engage in an affair hoping to be caught. The discovery of the affair then serves as the catalyst for ending the primary relationship, which they were unable or unwilling to terminate straightforwardly.
Healing and Moving Forward
Identifying which type of cheater you are dealing with can be painful but necessary for your healing journey. Each type requires different strategies for personal healing and, if desired, for repairing the relationship. Dr. Weiss’s insights provide a framework for understanding and approaching the complex emotions and decisions following infidelity.
For more information on dealing with infidelity and healing from its impact, you can visit the Heart to Heart Counseling Center’s website at https://drdougweiss.com/ or contact them for counseling and help with sex addiction at 719-278-3708. Additionally, signing up for their free newsletter can provide ongoing support and advice.
Understanding the nuances behind infidelity and recognizing the type of cheater can empower those affected to make informed decisions about their future and embark on a path to recovery and emotional well-being.