The 5 Love Languages | Gary D. Chapman

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★★★ BIG 10 IDEAS ★★★

(2:15) EMOTIONAL LOVE TANK
Metaphor like our car has a gas tank, our love life has a love tank.
keep this tank full. If we neglect our love tank, we’ll start to get bigger problems.
we need love… stats show we’re not too good at it:
40% of marriages in USA divorce
60% of second
75% of third
What’s happening? Where do we go wrong?

(3:45) DON’T BE IN LOVE
Falling in love is the opposite of what we should strive for. That honeymoon style chick flick/notebook rain make out scene.
Dr. M Scott Peck: falling in love is NOT love for three reasons:
1. Not act of will or conscious choice (fall in love with people not compatible with)
2. Effortless. Real love requires work.
3. Not centered on growth of other. Gives us false sense we have arrived / at the peak

(8:00) LANGUAGES OF LOVE (LEARN THEM)
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Gifts
Acts of Service
In order for the other person to feel loved, we must understand and speak their love language to them. Otherwise we might as well be speaking in Chinese when they understand English.

(10:00) QUALITY TIME
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Most “typical” love language.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Intentional date night - schedule it in!
Avoid routines. Relationship killer.
Table topics: https://amzn.to/28LAlse

(12:45) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
This love languages uses words to affirm other people. Not just words - but deeper reasons behind them. Give them the “WHY” “I love you” vs. “I love you because…..” or “Great job with that project” vs. “Great job with that project - you put a lot of time in it shows”
HOW TO & TIPS:
Focus on giving one killer compliment x a day.
Compliment in presence of peers / brag about them in front of people.
No longer “Thank you” it’s “Thank you for….”

(15:15) GIFTS
Not materialistic. Not diamonds everyday. Gifts can be cards, can be flower, can be favorite soda from Trader Joes.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Remember important dates.
Focus on thoughtful ness behind gift.
Keep log in your phone if she mentions something she likes - order it in bulk one day, disperse over time.

(18:00) ACTS OF SERVICE
For these people, actions speak louder than words. My dad: Would do my laundry and clean my room. Wash my car. This was his love language.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Don’t be lazy - pisses this person off like no other.
Cook them dinner. Do their Laundry. Make the bed. Clean their space / room / desk / etc.
Volunteer to help out more.

(19:30) PHYSICAL TOUCH
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch (not bedroom only).
Hand holding / hugs / PDA / etc.

(22:00) FIND YOURS
TEST ONLINE: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
TEST IN BOOK: https://amzn.to/28O7uCw

(22:45) CHOOSE LOVE
Unpopular truth is that love requires work. Unglamorous side of things. Toilets don’t get flushed - hair in sink. Get realistic with it - kill fantasies. Not a finish line - real work starts after honeymoon.

1. Please pray before you start your study. Ask God for understanding.

2. Read, listen or watch the content a minimum of 2 times before you start answering the questions.

3. Keep notes on another document processesor like Online Word or Google Drive. Write your answers down before you input in the study response form just in case there is an error when you submit and you lose your answers.

4. Copy of your answers will be emailed to your counselor/coach/teacher email.

5. For study tools consider this webpage.

  

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