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Couples Open Heart Discussion & Prayer Guide

Choose a day and time that you and your partner can have complete privacy for at least 2 hours. Preferably the beach, park, hotel, bedroom, etc.

No kids. Please leave them with a sitter.

Man will ask the first question as the initiator (HEAD). With each item, you will give your partner up to 5 minutes of uninterrupted time answer.


As they answer, please listen with an intent to have peace and pray for God to help you see the heart of your partner and not just their words.

Sometimes when people are hurt or depressed, they can use offensive words that don’t convey their true emotions accurately.

They are angry because they love you and feel like they are losing control or have been violated, disrespected or ignored.

Be civil and respectful. The Holy Spirit is teaching you about yourself as they speak. It may be excruciating. There is “no gain without pain.”

Transformation through these private sessions is more significant than any other experience. You are “one” with your partner. God molds us into the image of Christ through this “One Flesh” relationship more than any other link on earth.

Marriage is His design. Embrace the pain and watch how He heals and changes you through “Open Heart Discussions.”

The first two questions should be asked daily to maintain a simple connection with a minimum of five minutes. All the questions should be done weekly or bi-weekly.

1. How have I been making you feel this last week with my actions & attitudes?

2. Is there anything I can do to make you feel special and loved this week?

3. How has your work, school, or daily responsibilities been?

4. How has your relationship with God been?

5. Are there any bad habits/thoughts, or addictions/strongholds that I can pray to God to help you without judgment?

DISCLAIMER: Addictions are not limited to pornography, gambling, or drugs. They can be stealing, flirting, drugs, drunkenness (Over drinking & losing control), deep-seated anger towards people, fits of rage, gluttony (Overeating), laziness, procrastination, tardiness, cursing, gossip, unproductive behavior, digesting negative music/content, speaking negatively (No faith & love when speaking about people, places and things), irresponsibility (Overdoing religious activities and not being balanced with the development of work, health, hygiene, self-care, family, relationships & community engagement), etc.

6. How are your friendships going? How are you cultivating them?

7. How is your health? How have you been taking care of your body and mind?

8. How has my foreplay been pleasing to you?

9. What can I do specifically this next week to light up your sexual passion for me?

10. How can I pray for you today? (You will end the session in prayer over everything that was discussed. Please do not bypass this step because it is impossible to find the power to change without the Holy Spirit Galatians 5:16-26, Romans 8:1-17)

Close the session in prayer for each other and over the issues you presented as you were communicating. Each of you should pray for 5-10 minutes. Authentically ask God for forgiveness and help for yourself and your partner. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart as your partner prays to God. Listen for His still small voice. Prayer enables you to give up control over issues in your relationship and soul you cannot change. Only God can change hearts, attitudes, and actions as we cooperate with Him by faith! As they say “Let go and let God”!

Be as discreet as you feel.

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