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Levels of Marriage Communication

Communication is undeniably the lifeblood of any relationship, particularly in marriage. While it’s widely recognized that women often use more words than men, this verbal engagement is not just about quantity but about connecting on multiple levels. Effective communication in relationships can be complex, involving various layers that can deepen intimacy and enhance understanding. Let’s explore the six levels of communication that can transform everyday interactions into meaningful connections.

Level 1: Cliché Conversation

The first level of communication is the most superficial, encompassing basic greetings and small talk. “How was your day?” “Fine, and yours?” These interactions are safe and predictable, requiring little emotional investment and often serving as conversation starters rather than meaningful exchanges.

Tip: While cliché, these conversations are stepping stones and should be seen as opportunities to open doors to deeper interactions.

Level 2: Reporting Facts

This level involves sharing information about events or others without personal commentary. It’s slightly more informative than clichés but still remains on the surface, involving no personal vulnerability. “The kids have a school play next week” or “The car is making that noise again.”

Tip: Use these facts as a springboard for deeper inquiry and engagement. Ask questions that might reveal more about your partner’s thoughts or feelings regarding the facts they’re reporting.

Level 3: Ideas and Judgments

This is where communication starts to get more personal and engaging. Level three moves beyond simple facts to sharing opinions and ideas. This level can be pivotal as it invites partners to agree or disagree, thus providing insights into personal values and beliefs.

Tip: Encourage each other to share opinions freely, ensuring that disagreements are handled respectfully. This level is where genuine understanding begins to take shape.

Marriage communication such as expressing your feelings

Level 4: Personal Feelings

Opening up about personal feelings requires trust and vulnerability, marking a deeper level of communication. Sharing how something made you feel—not just what happened but your emotional response—can significantly deepen a connection.

Tip: Create a safe space for expressing feelings without fear of judgment. Respond with empathy and validate your partner’s emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Level 5: Emotional Needs

At this level, individuals express what they need emotionally from their partner. This might involve articulating needs for affection, support, understanding, or space. Communicating at this level can prevent resentments and misunderstandings and foster a supportive and loving relationship.

Tip: Be clear and specific about what you need from your partner and ask them to do the same. Understanding and meeting each other’s emotional needs can vastly improve relationship satisfaction.

Level 6: Complete Emotional and Personal Connection

The deepest level of communication involves a blend of all previous levels, culminating in a complete emotional and personal connection. This level is characterized by total openness and honesty, where both partners feel fully seen, heard, and understood.

Tip: Regular check-ins and continual personal growth can help maintain this level of connection. Engage in activities that foster closeness and ensure you frequently revisit and talk about the health of your relationship.

Implementing the Six Levels: A Personal Story

To illustrate how these levels work in real life, let’s consider a personal story. My wife and I once faced a misunderstanding that initially seemed trivial but revealed deeper emotional undercurrents. It started with a simple fact about a forgotten dinner date (Level 2). When discussing it, we shared our judgments about the importance of the event (Level 3) and eventually expressed how the oversight made each of us feel (Level 4). This led to a discussion about needing better communication and respect for each other’s schedules (Level 5), which deepened our understanding and appreciation for one another, reinforcing our bond (Level 6).

Conclusion

Understanding and utilizing these six levels of communication can transform relationships from mundane to deeply satisfying. Each level builds upon the last, creating a ladder of intimacy that can lead to a fully realized emotional connection. By consciously navigating these levels, couples can enhance not only their communication but also their overall relational happiness.

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Step 3: Agreements

A. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING EXPECTATIONS

1. Christian/Biblical Counseling: Biblical Counseling, sometimes called Pastoral Counseling or Christian Counseling, has the Lord Jesus Christ as its center.

It is the counsel which:

a) Includes listening, teaching, encouraging, preparing, comforting, warning, admonishing.

c) Its purpose is to glorify God and guide the counselee into an increased understanding of his/her personal, love, grace-oriented relationship with Jesus Christ.

d) Will result in pursuing a transformed life that reflects God’s grace, glory, and joy. This type of counseling is in contrast to secular forms of counseling. Our goal is to:

“Proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ. And for this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me” (Col 1:28-29).

“Equip the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:12-13).

2. Referrals to Professionals: If you have significant legal, medical, or other technical questions, seek advice from independent professionals. Our Christian counselors will cooperate with such advisors and help you to consider their counsel in light of relevant scriptural principles.

3. Intent Listening: We encourage counselees to speak their minds appropriately and discuss thoughts, anxieties, and fears so the counselor can clearly understand core problems.

4. Assignments: Counselees progress more rapidly when they study or perform specific informational or behavioral assignments individually tailored to the problem.

5. Accountability: We desire to maximize your and the counselor’s time. One of our goals is to help believers learn how to glorify God and have the outward life reflect the yielded, godly inward life, resulting in peace and joy. Therefore, each counselee must participate actively in the counseling sessions and excercises between the sessions.

6. Length of Counseling: Biblical Counseling will vary in the amount of time required according to the individual, his/her motivation, the amount of time spent on homework, and the particular situation and/or problem. On average, Biblical Counseling requires less time than conventional, secular counseling. Simple issues may be solved in one session. Difficult situations often require a more extended period. When multiple people are involved in the counseling, more may be needed as frequently happens in marriage counseling. Substance abuse and addiction problems may require many more sessions, with intensive accountability, drug tests, and other professional help.

B. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING AGREEMENT

I/We affirm the accuracy of the personal information provided herein, have read the information above, and agree to the conditions. I now agree to the following conditions:

1. I (We) understand that the counseling I, my family, or those legally under my guardianship will receive will be based upon the Bible to glorify God and lead to a healthy, Spirit-empowered grace-filled life.

2. I (We) will keep the appointment time or will call before 72 hours to cancel. If I cancel an appointment with less than 72 hours' notice or fail to show up, I will be charged for the appointment due to losing the counselor’s time or other potential appointments.

3. I (We) understand that confidentiality is an integral part of the counseling process, and my counselor is careful to protect confidentiality, desiring to operate under high ethical principles. However, there are times when my counselor must share certain information with others, such as revealed information that indicates a genuine potential for harm to me or others. In that case, counselors may have to share that information with the appropriate authorities or family members, being obligated by conscience and the laws of the State of Florida regarding counseling relationships.

4. I (We) understand that Impact Family Inc. has cameras in the building to monitor movements for security purposes. All inbound or outbound contact with the client via phone or webcam sessions may be recorded for quality insurance and kept in a secure HIPPA-compliant data file/center(Google Drive) with two-factor authentication. If recorded, all data will be deleted or turned over to the client upon written request on our contact page.

5. I (We) understand that contributing online or by phone demonstrates that I have read, heard, and agreed with these essential terms. I will read further on the website (www.impact.vision/terms) any other terms and conditions not communicated in this summary agreement statement.

5. I (We) now agree to hold all independently contracted Christian Counselors affiliated with Impact Family Counseling Network and its leadership harmless from any advice, counsel, or suggestions rendered during our counseling sessions. I (We) recognize that their role is to assist me/us in hearing and understanding God’s will in the matters we discuss. Therefore, we will not prosecute or engage in any litigation negatively affecting Impact Family Inc., Impact Family Biblical Christian Counseling Network, Impact Family Network, or organizations granting them the ability and resources to provide counseling services. We will follow an Amicable Dispute Resolution with Professional Christian Mediation Companies only.

6. I (We) agree not to attempt to subpoena or require any counselor to appear in any legal proceeding related to any matters discussed during counseling, nor will I (we) attempt to subpoena any notes or records associated with this counseling.

C. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONTRIBUTIONS

Impact Family Inc. is a faith-based ministry that depends upon the generous contributions of its counselees, members, and partners. Impact Family Inc. underwrites additional costs. We encourage you to pray and ask the Lord what you should give above the suggested amount on the counselor’s profile.

If you cannot offer that amount financially or in kind, if your Church refuses to help with a contribution, or if you have questions, please discuss them with our team or apply for a scholarship.

Checks or money orders are to be written to Impact Family Inc. You can also donate online at www.impact.vision/donate. To schedule a session, please go directly to our team page.

Suggested Donation Amounts For Sessions:

$85-$150 new clients/intake session
$85-$150 existing clients
Sessions last, on average, 50-150 minutes.
See current contribution amounts here https://impact.vision/session

For mailed-in payments with written permission from the Executive director, please send your check or money order to us at:

Impact Family Inc.
8362 Pines Blvd. #116
Pembroke Pines, FL 33024

Counseling sessions with mailed payments are not scheduled until contributions have been received, deposited and cleared in bank account. Please schedule 2 to 3 weeks before sending the contribution.

D. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CHILDCARE

Unfortunately, Impact Family Inc. is unable to provide childcare. If bringing a child, please ensure the issues you present to the counselor are appropriate for them.

E. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CANCELLATION, RESCHEDULING, & REFUNDS

Clients are entitled to a full refund if they cancel 72 hours before the appointment by clicking the cancelation link on your client portal bookings page and clicking refund on the orders page. View Refund Process Tutorial
Clients are entitled to a full refund if the counselor does not attend the session after 15 minutes of their scheduled appointment. After 10 minutes of waiting, you must
- 1) knock on their door (Client's doing an office session)
- 2) call their phone number and extension that is listed in the email confirmation sent to your inbox
- 3) email them with the email address in the confirmation sent to your inbox
- 4) contact the support team through our contact page
If clients have verified documentation of a medical emergency or death in your immediate family, you are entitled to a 100% coupon to reschedule your session at another more convenient time.
To reschedule your session, go to your Client Portal @ Click Edit on your Session | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/calendar-client-portal
- Step 1: Login Into Your Client Portal & Cancel the Session | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/calendar-client-portal
- Step 2: Go To Orders And Request a Refund before the 72-hour deadline | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/my-account/orders
- Watch the refund tutorial for help.

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