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Sexless Marriage with Dr. Doug Weiss

In marital challenges, few topics are as sensitive and potentially distressing as that of a sexless marriage. Dr. Doug Weiss, a renowned psychologist and expert in marital therapy, provides critical insights into this issue in his work, including strategies for understanding and addressing the underlying causes. This blog explores Dr. Weiss’s approach to sexless marriages, shedding light on why they happen and what can be done to revive intimacy in relationships.

Defining a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage is commonly defined as a relationship in which a couple engages in sexual activities fewer than ten times a year. However, the definition can vary based on individual expectations and cultural norms. Dr. Weiss emphasizes that the key issue in a sexless marriage is not just the infrequency of sexual encounters but the lack of physical intimacy and its impact on emotional connection.

Causes of Sexless Marriages

Dr. Weiss identifies several potential causes for a decline in sexual activity among married couples:

  1. Physical Health Issues: Medical conditions like hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or disabilities can significantly decrease libido and physical capability.
  2. Mental Health Struggles: Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can severely affect one’s interest in sex. Additionally, past trauma, particularly sexual trauma, can lead to avoidance of physical intimacy.
  3. Relationship Problems: Ongoing conflicts, unresolved anger, lack of trust, and poor communication can lead to a decrease in sexual desire between partners.
  4. Lifestyle and Stress: Busy schedules, parenting, work stress, and lack of privacy can all contribute to a lack of sexual intimacy.
  5. Differing Sexual Desires: Differences in sexual needs or preferences between partners can lead to frustration and avoidance of sexual contact.
Sexless marriage resolution

Strategies to Rekindle Intimacy

Dr. Weiss suggests several strategies for couples facing this challenge, focusing on emotional connection and communication:

  1. Open Communication: Partners should strive to communicate openly about their sexual needs, desires, and frustrations. This involves having honest, albeit sometimes uncomfortable, conversations about sex and intimacy.
  2. Counseling and Therapy: Professional help can be invaluable for addressing both individual issues like mental health or trauma and relationship dynamics affecting intimacy.
  3. Prioritizing Intimacy: Dr. Weiss advises couples to prioritize time for intimacy. This doesn’t always mean sexual activity but can include physical closeness, touching, kissing, and other forms of affection.
  4. Educational Resources: Learning about sexual health and intimacy together can help partners understand each other’s bodies and desires better, which can enhance their sexual relationship.
  5. Exploring Underlying Issues: It’s crucial to address any underlying medical or psychological conditions that might be contributing to the lack of intimacy.

Rebuilding a Connection

Rebuilding the sexual aspect of a marriage often means rekindling emotional intimacy first. Dr. Weiss encourages couples to invest in their relationship by spending quality time together, showing appreciation, and engaging in non-sexual physical touch. All these actions can help build a safer emotional environment that can lead to improved physical intimacy.


A sexless marriage can be a significant strain on both partners, but it’s often a symptom of deeper issues that can be addressed with mutual effort and professional guidance. Dr. Doug Weiss’s insights provide a roadmap for couples looking to understand and improve their intimate connection, emphasizing the importance of addressing both physical and emotional needs. With patience, empathy, and dedication, it is possible to restore intimacy and strengthen the marital bond.

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