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Why My Wife Doesn’t Want To Have Sex

In a marriage, sexual intimacy is often seen as a barometer of the relationship’s health. However, it’s not uncommon for couples to experience periods where one partner’s desire for sex diminishes. If you’re a husband wondering why your wife doesn’t seem interested in sex, it’s important to approach the topic with empathy and understanding. Various factors, ranging from psychological to physiological, can influence sexual desire. Here’s a closer look at some common reasons why your wife might not want to have sex, and what you can do to address these issues together.

1. Busy and Overwhelmed

Life’s daily demands can be exhausting. If your wife is juggling work, household responsibilities, and childcare, she may simply be too tired or stressed for sex. The mental load of managing a household and career can leave little room for intimacy.

What You Can Do: Help alleviate her burden by taking on more household duties and sharing the responsibility of managing family schedules. Ensuring she has time to relax and unwind can also make a significant difference.

2. Intimacy Anorexia

Intimacy anorexia is a condition where a person actively withholds emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy from their partner. This could manifest as avoiding sex, but also through not sharing feelings or being distant.

What You Can Do: Therapy, both individual and couples, can be crucial. Discuss this pattern with your wife, without blame, and express your willingness to support her and work on your relationship together.

3. Depression

Depression can severely impact all areas of life, including sexual desire. It’s not just about feeling sad; depression can make someone feel unworthy of love or physically uninterested in sex.

What You Can Do: Encourage your wife to seek help from a mental health professional. Be supportive and patient, as treatment can take time, and recovery varies from person to person.

Loss of sexual intimacy between couples

4. Hormonal Imbalance

Changes in hormones, due to reasons like thyroid issues, menopause, or other health conditions, can drastically affect libido.

What You Can Do: Support your wife in seeking medical advice to address any potential hormonal imbalances. Understanding that these changes are physiological can reduce feelings of frustration or rejection.

5. Sexual Addiction

If one partner has a sexual addiction, it can create significant stress in a marriage, leading to a decreased interest in sex, especially if it feels compulsive or unhealthy.

What You Can Do: Addressing sexual addiction requires professional help. Encourage and support your wife in seeking therapy, and be willing to participate in counseling sessions together if needed.

6. Not Keeping Your Word as a Husband

Trust is fundamental in a relationship. If you frequently break promises, it can lead to resentment and a lack of sexual desire.

What You Can Do: Make a concerted effort to be more reliable and honest. Small actions and keeping your word can rebuild trust over time.

7. Not Helping Around the House

If your wife feels like she’s disproportionately responsible for domestic chores, it can breed resentment and reduce her sexual interest.

What You Can Do: Take a proactive role in household management. Share the load more equally, and acknowledge the work she does at home.

8. Not Sharing Your Feelings

Emotional intimacy is a precursor to physical intimacy for many women. If you’re not open about your feelings, your wife might feel disconnected, making sexual intimacy less appealing.

What You Can Do: Work on expressing your emotions more openly. Share your day-to-day experiences and feelings, and invite her to share hers.

Conclusion

The reasons why your wife may not want to have sex can be complex and varied. It’s crucial to approach the issue with sensitivity and a willingness to listen and understand her perspective. Open communication, mutual support, and sometimes professional help are key in navigating these challenges together. By addressing the underlying issues, not only can the sexual relationship improve, but also the overall health of the marriage.

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A. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING EXPECTATIONS

1. Christian/Biblical Counseling: Biblical Counseling, sometimes called Pastoral Counseling or Christian Counseling, has the Lord Jesus Christ as its center.

It is the counsel which:

a) Includes listening, teaching, encouraging, preparing, comforting, warning, admonishing.

c) Its purpose is to glorify God and guide the counselee into an increased understanding of his/her personal, love, grace-oriented relationship with Jesus Christ.

d) Will result in pursuing a transformed life that reflects God’s grace, glory, and joy. This type of counseling is in contrast to secular forms of counseling. Our goal is to:

“Proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ. And for this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me” (Col 1:28-29).

“Equip the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:12-13).

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6. Length of Counseling: Biblical Counseling will vary in the amount of time required according to the individual, his/her motivation, the amount of time spent on homework, and the particular situation and/or problem. On average, Biblical Counseling requires less time than conventional, secular counseling. Simple issues may be solved in one session. Difficult situations often require a more extended period. When multiple people are involved in the counseling, more may be needed as frequently happens in marriage counseling. Substance abuse and addiction problems may require many more sessions, with intensive accountability, drug tests, and other professional help.

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I/We affirm the accuracy of the personal information provided herein, have read the information above, and agree to the conditions. I now agree to the following conditions:

1. I (We) understand that the counseling I, my family, or those legally under my guardianship will receive will be based upon the Bible to glorify God and lead to a healthy, Spirit-empowered grace-filled life.

2. I (We) will keep the appointment time or will call before 72 hours to cancel. If I cancel an appointment with less than 72 hours' notice or fail to show up, I will be charged for the appointment due to losing the counselor’s time or other potential appointments.

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5. I (We) now agree to hold all independently contracted Christian Counselors affiliated with Impact Family Counseling Network and its leadership harmless from any advice, counsel, or suggestions rendered during our counseling sessions. I (We) recognize that their role is to assist me/us in hearing and understanding God’s will in the matters we discuss. Therefore, we will not prosecute or engage in any litigation negatively affecting Impact Family Inc., Impact Family Biblical Christian Counseling Network, Impact Family Network, or organizations granting them the ability and resources to provide counseling services. We will follow an Amicable Dispute Resolution with Professional Christian Mediation Companies only.

6. I (We) agree not to attempt to subpoena or require any counselor to appear in any legal proceeding related to any matters discussed during counseling, nor will I (we) attempt to subpoena any notes or records associated with this counseling.

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Impact Family Inc. is a faith-based ministry that depends upon the generous contributions of its counselees, members, and partners. Impact Family Inc. underwrites additional costs. We encourage you to pray and ask the Lord what you should give above the suggested amount on the counselor’s profile.

If you cannot offer that amount financially or in kind, if your Church refuses to help with a contribution, or if you have questions, please discuss them with our team or apply for a scholarship.

Checks or money orders are to be written to Impact Family Inc. You can also donate online at www.impact.vision/donate. To schedule a session, please go directly to our team page.

Suggested Donation Amounts For Sessions:

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Sessions last, on average, 50-150 minutes.
See current contribution amounts here https://impact.vision/session

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Impact Family Inc.
8362 Pines Blvd. #116
Pembroke Pines, FL 33024

Counseling sessions with mailed payments are not scheduled until contributions have been received, deposited and cleared in bank account. Please schedule 2 to 3 weeks before sending the contribution.

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Unfortunately, Impact Family Inc. is unable to provide childcare. If bringing a child, please ensure the issues you present to the counselor are appropriate for them.

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