Why Christian Pre-Marital Counseling

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  • Why Christian Counseling?
    • Everything in life that is significant requires a period of training and preparation. Marriage is the most important institution in the world and how much more important is it for a couple to understand what the Bible teaches and have time to put into practice Biblical skills of communication, prioritizing, planning, prayer and accountability.
    • In Old Testament era and the Jewish Christian context children were raised in such a way as to prepare them to follow God and be good husbands and wives. Here is an scriptural example:

Titus 2:3-5
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children
, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
  • In our secular context many are not prepared or informed on what God desires for them in a Christian marriage. Therefore, it is more imperative then ever that they devote intentional time with a Christian marriage counselor to analyze Biblical marriage and prepare for the glorious lifestyle of "marriage".
  • Some couples who come to a pastor to desperately get married are merely trying to escape the guilt or temptation of lust. It is a noble desire to want to be freed from such sins, but it does not mean they are spiritually, emotional and financially ready, Biblically knowledgeable and have agreed consciously & volitionally to submit to God's divine order and purpose for marriage. Also, other issues need to be worked through such as parenting, church involvement & financial stewardship perspectives and values.
    Spiritually immature couples have misconceived ideas of marriage or they have never seen it modeled in a healthy biblical way. Another great reason why pastors need to devote a set amount of time to give a couple instruction and allow them to reflect on the standards of scripture and the lifestyle of grace by the Holy Spirit.
    We usually allow a period of 6-8 Sessions over a period of 3-12 months for all this to happen. Scripture and honest discussion amongst the couple is able to prepare or discourage a couple from marriage if they are not prepared.

2 Tim 3:16-17
16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work

Luke 14:28-33
28 "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down andestimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29 For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30 saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' 31 "Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down andconsider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33 In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.