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After a spouse has cheated

Infidelity can be a devastating blow to any marriage, creating a fissure of distrust and hurt that can seem insurmountable. However, with commitment, humility, and a deep reliance on faith, it is possible for a relationship to not only recover but also to grow stronger in the aftermath. Here’s a guide for married couples on navigating the challenging waters after one spouse has cheated, emphasizing confession, forgiveness, and the long journey towards rebuilding trust.

1. Honest Confession

The journey towards healing must begin with an honest confession from the unfaithful spouse. This confession needs to be heartfelt and fully transparent, acknowledging the hurt caused without trying to shift blame or minimize the affair. It’s a critical step that lays the foundation for all future healing.

Tips for Making an Honest Confession:

Be specific about the wrongdoing without being unnecessarily graphic about the details, as this can cause further hurt.
Express remorse genuinely, showing that you understand the gravity of the breach of trust.
Commit to answering questions your spouse may have, understanding that this is part of their processing.

2. Preparing for a Long Road to Rebuilding Trust

Both partners need to understand that rebuilding trust is a lengthy process that doesn’t happen overnight. The spouse who has been betrayed will likely experience a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and disbelief. During this time, the unfaithful spouse must show unwavering patience and commitment.

Expectations for Rebuilding Trust:

Accept that distrust will be part of your relationship for some time and be patient with the process.
Be consistent and transparent in all your actions and communications.
Offer reassurances and be willing to share details about your whereabouts and interactions as needed to rebuild trust.

3. Humility in Action

Humility is crucial in the healing process. The spouse who committed the infidelity must adopt a posture of humility, acknowledging their mistakes and understanding that their actions have consequences. Instead of expecting immediate forgiveness or normalcy, they should focus on consistently demonstrating trustworthiness and integrity.

How to Practice Humility:

Do not demand trust or forgiveness; understand that these are earned over time and through consistent behavior.
Respond with love and kindness, even when facing the hurt you have caused.
Seek to understand the pain of your spouse, and be present for them without making the situation about yourself.

Rebuilding trust after a spouse has cheated — xr:d:DAFTFbtBgns:626,j:3413027469058517726,t:24041414

4. Continuous Love and Assurance

For the relationship to heal, continuous expressions of love and commitment are essential. The unfaithful spouse should go above and beyond to demonstrate their love and commitment to the relationship. This might mean engaging in daily acts of kindness, being more attentive, and prioritizing the needs and feelings of their partner.

Ways to Show Continuous Love:

Regularly express your love and commitment through words and actions.
Engage in activities that strengthen your bond, such as counseling, retreats, or workshops for couples.
Pray together for healing and renewal in your relationship.

5. Seeking Professional Help

Navigating the aftermath of an affair is complex and can be overwhelming for both spouses. Seeking guidance from a counselor, particularly one who specializes in marital therapy and infidelity, can provide the necessary tools and space to process feelings and work through issues constructively.

Benefits of Professional Guidance:

Provides a neutral space to discuss issues and emotions.
Offers professional insights into the dynamics of infidelity and trust.
Helps set milestones and goals for recovery and rebuilding.

Conclusion

Recovering from infidelity is one of the most challenging trials a marriage can face, but with faith, humility, and dedicated effort, healing is possible. It requires time, patience, and a commitment to restore what has been broken. Through these steps, couples can work towards forgiveness, rebuild trust, and eventually strengthen their marriage, finding a new depth of intimacy and commitment that was once thought lost.

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Step 1: Basic Information

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Step 3: Agreements

A. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING EXPECTATIONS

1. Christian/Biblical Counseling: Biblical Counseling, sometimes called Pastoral Counseling or Christian Counseling, has the Lord Jesus Christ as its center.

It is the counsel which:

a) Includes listening, teaching, encouraging, preparing, comforting, warning, admonishing.

c) Its purpose is to glorify God and guide the counselee into an increased understanding of his/her personal, love, grace-oriented relationship with Jesus Christ.

d) Will result in pursuing a transformed life that reflects God’s grace, glory, and joy. This type of counseling is in contrast to secular forms of counseling. Our goal is to:

“Proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ. And for this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me” (Col 1:28-29).

“Equip the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:12-13).

2. Referrals to Professionals: If you have significant legal, medical, or other technical questions, seek advice from independent professionals. Our Christian counselors will cooperate with such advisors and help you to consider their counsel in light of relevant scriptural principles.

3. Intent Listening: We encourage counselees to speak their minds appropriately and discuss thoughts, anxieties, and fears so the counselor can clearly understand core problems.

4. Assignments: Counselees progress more rapidly when they study or perform specific informational or behavioral assignments individually tailored to the problem.

5. Accountability: We desire to maximize your and the counselor’s time. One of our goals is to help believers learn how to glorify God and have the outward life reflect the yielded, godly inward life, resulting in peace and joy. Therefore, each counselee must participate actively in the counseling sessions and excercises between the sessions.

6. Length of Counseling: Biblical Counseling will vary in the amount of time required according to the individual, his/her motivation, the amount of time spent on homework, and the particular situation and/or problem. On average, Biblical Counseling requires less time than conventional, secular counseling. Simple issues may be solved in one session. Difficult situations often require a more extended period. When multiple people are involved in the counseling, more may be needed as frequently happens in marriage counseling. Substance abuse and addiction problems may require many more sessions, with intensive accountability, drug tests, and other professional help.

B. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING AGREEMENT

I/We affirm the accuracy of the personal information provided herein, have read the information above, and agree to the conditions. I now agree to the following conditions:

1. I (We) understand that the counseling I, my family, or those legally under my guardianship will receive will be based upon the Bible to glorify God and lead to a healthy, Spirit-empowered grace-filled life.

2. I (We) will keep the appointment time or will call before 72 hours to cancel. If I cancel an appointment with less than 72 hours' notice or fail to show up, I will be charged for the appointment due to losing the counselor’s time or other potential appointments.

3. I (We) understand that confidentiality is an integral part of the counseling process, and my counselor is careful to protect confidentiality, desiring to operate under high ethical principles. However, there are times when my counselor must share certain information with others, such as revealed information that indicates a genuine potential for harm to me or others. In that case, counselors may have to share that information with the appropriate authorities or family members, being obligated by conscience and the laws of the State of Florida regarding counseling relationships.

4. I (We) understand that Impact Family Inc. has cameras in the building to monitor movements for security purposes. All inbound or outbound contact with the client via phone or webcam sessions may be recorded for quality insurance and kept in a secure HIPPA-compliant data file/center(Google Drive) with two-factor authentication. If recorded, all data will be deleted or turned over to the client upon written request on our contact page.

5. I (We) understand that contributing online or by phone demonstrates that I have read, heard, and agreed with these essential terms. I will read further on the website (www.impact.vision/terms) any other terms and conditions not communicated in this summary agreement statement.

5. I (We) now agree to hold all independently contracted Christian Counselors affiliated with Impact Family Counseling Network and its leadership harmless from any advice, counsel, or suggestions rendered during our counseling sessions. I (We) recognize that their role is to assist me/us in hearing and understanding God’s will in the matters we discuss. Therefore, we will not prosecute or engage in any litigation negatively affecting Impact Family Inc., Impact Family Biblical Christian Counseling Network, Impact Family Network, or organizations granting them the ability and resources to provide counseling services. We will follow an Amicable Dispute Resolution with Professional Christian Mediation Companies only.

6. I (We) agree not to attempt to subpoena or require any counselor to appear in any legal proceeding related to any matters discussed during counseling, nor will I (we) attempt to subpoena any notes or records associated with this counseling.

C. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONTRIBUTIONS

Impact Family Inc. is a faith-based ministry that depends upon the generous contributions of its counselees, members, and partners. Impact Family Inc. underwrites additional costs. We encourage you to pray and ask the Lord what you should give above the suggested amount on the counselor’s profile.

If you cannot offer that amount financially or in kind, if your Church refuses to help with a contribution, or if you have questions, please discuss them with our team or apply for a scholarship.

Checks or money orders are to be written to Impact Family Inc. You can also donate online at www.impact.vision/donate. To schedule a session, please go directly to our team page.

Suggested Donation Amounts For Sessions:

$85-$150 new clients/intake session
$85-$150 existing clients
Sessions last, on average, 50-150 minutes.
See current contribution amounts here https://impact.vision/session

For mailed-in payments with written permission from the Executive director, please send your check or money order to us at:

Impact Family Inc.
8362 Pines Blvd. #116
Pembroke Pines, FL 33024

Counseling sessions with mailed payments are not scheduled until contributions have been received, deposited and cleared in bank account. Please schedule 2 to 3 weeks before sending the contribution.

D. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CHILDCARE

Unfortunately, Impact Family Inc. is unable to provide childcare. If bringing a child, please ensure the issues you present to the counselor are appropriate for them.

E. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CANCELLATION, RESCHEDULING, & REFUNDS

Clients are entitled to a full refund if they cancel 72 hours before the appointment by clicking the cancelation link on your client portal bookings page and clicking refund on the orders page. View Refund Process Tutorial
Clients are entitled to a full refund if the counselor does not attend the session after 15 minutes of their scheduled appointment. After 10 minutes of waiting, you must
- 1) knock on their door (Client's doing an office session)
- 2) call their phone number and extension that is listed in the email confirmation sent to your inbox
- 3) email them with the email address in the confirmation sent to your inbox
- 4) contact the support team through our contact page
If clients have verified documentation of a medical emergency or death in your immediate family, you are entitled to a 100% coupon to reschedule your session at another more convenient time.
To reschedule your session, go to your Client Portal @ Click Edit on your Session | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/calendar-client-portal
- Step 1: Login Into Your Client Portal & Cancel the Session | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/calendar-client-portal
- Step 2: Go To Orders And Request a Refund before the 72-hour deadline | Direct Link: https://impact.vision/my-account/orders
- Watch the refund tutorial for help.

View other terms and conditions.

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